Mother’s Day. A holiday of mixed emotions. It’s a day that supposed to be all about moms and mothers, but sometimes husbands or fathers of our children forget or think that they don’t need to do something for their wives or the mother of their children. They think it’s just a day that they should do something for their own mother. But, until the children are old enough to make their own presents for their mom, their fathers should help them.
Of course, sometimes it doesn’t happen, so I am here to tell you that it’s OK to take matters into your own hands. You should make your own Mother’s Day presents or get your own Mother’s Day gift for several reasons.
Once you have a child of your own, your child’s mother is the most important mother in your world on Mother’s Day. It can no longer be all about your mom, or the woman who raised you. It needs to be the mother of your children.
Yes, your mother is important, but your wife is important too, and you need to make sure that she feel special loved and honored on Mother’s Day. Her wishes and her needs need to come before your mother’s because your wife, the mother of your children, is the mother that you deal with on a daily basis. The one you see every day and wake up next to. The one who gets up with your children at night, cooks the meals, takes care of you and the kids, cleans the house, and the list goes on. Yes, your mother may have done those things for you at some point, but odds are, she’s not doing them now, so times have changed. And, as a result, she is not the most important mother in your world on Mother’s Day.
It is your job to get the mother of your child something for Mother’s Day. It doesn’t need to be something fancy expensive or elaborate, but you do need to recognize and honor her. Show some appreciation!
If you don’t feel that you should or that you need to, think about the message that you were sending to your children if you don’t do anything for her. Do you really want your children to think that their mother is not important or that you don’t care about her feelings?
If your goal is to raise kind, decent, thoughtful human beings, then you need to model that for your children and do something for their mother on Mother’s Day. Even though she’s not your mom, she is a mom, and an important mom in your life because she is THE mother of your children. Without her, you wouldn’t have your kids. So get off your butt, pick up a card, or better yet, have your kids make her a cute one, and do something to make her feel special.
You can start by asking her what she would like to do for Mother’s Day, or what she would like for Mother’s Day. Then do it. Make it happen to the best of your ability.
If she wants the day off, fine. Give her the day off. If she wants the day off, but wants to spend time with your children, be her assistant for the day. Wait on her hand and foot. Make her breakfast in bed. Do all her chores for her. Change all the diapers, clean up all the kid messes. Cook dinner, do all the things she does on a normal day. Let her simply have fun, relax, and actually enjoy spending time with the kids and you, without worrying about what else she should be doing. If you want to take it a step further, make her a cute handprint or footprint card or a craft with your kids. There are tons of ideas out there. Use Google to your advantage, or check out my ideas here.
Please, don’t make your wife tell you that you need to do something for her for Mother’s Day. If you don’t know what to do, man up and ask. Don’t hurt your wife’s feelings. They are important and valid, and ignoring Mother’s Day will hurt her feelings, even if she says she doesn’t know what she wants or says she doesn’t care. Moms do a lot of work, and it’s always nice to be recognized and thanked for that, regardless of what our jobs or our roles are. Kindness always helps.
This is a gray area, since you’re not technically parents because you’re not holding a little bundle of joy or chasing after a toddler, but, you’re on your way there. So, it would still be nice to recognize the future mother of your children on Mother’s Day. I suggest not going all out, but doing something small and simple would be nice and would help your pregnant wife.
For those of you who want to be fathers, but you and your wife are struggling to make that happen, talk to her. Even if you don’t have children yet, but you’ve been trying, or worse struggling, or experiencing losses, Mother’s Day is still an important day for her.
It might be a painful one, so ask her what she wants to do, and make that happen. Maybe she wants to lay low and hang out at home and avoid all the flowers and hullabaloo. Maybe she wants to get out of the house. Ask.
Be sensitive to her needs and her feelings. The worst thing you can do is ignore it and do nothing, or criticize her for how she’s feeling. So, please do your best to be sensitive and kind and compassionate and do what you can to make Mother’s Day as easy as you can for your wife.
Hugs! For those of you missing your mamas this Mother’s Day, take the time to do something for yourself. Maybe it’s something that your mama used to do for you or something that your mom did and loved. But do something for yourself, or do something in your mom’s memory or in her honor. Or, If you feel like avoiding it altogether and laying low, do that. Do what makes you happiest.
I encourage you to spread a little kindness this Mother’s Day. Recognize the mamas and the women who take on the role of a mom, even if they are not technically mothers. It doesn’t need to be fancy or expensive to be thoughtful. It truly is the thought that counts, so get to thinking, get to doing, and get to making somebody’s day just a little brighter! Make them feel loved and appreciated and special.
Mamas, make this Mother’s Day a nice one, even if you have to do it yourself. Trust me, doing SOMETHING, even if you did all the planning, is better than sitting at home, treating it like any other day.
Set aside the “to do” list and enjoy your day. Have fun with your kids. Get out and do something different. Go for a walk, have a picnic, visit somewhere local that you don’t go often, spend time doing one of your hobbies… Just set aside some time to enjoy a day created for you- Mother’s Day.